077: Decrypting Life

By faten.banana - September 09, 2020


They say, our 20s are pretty confusing age. At one point, we feel like we had it figured - not all, but probably a quarter of it. Yet, things take sudden change, the things we had in mind soon crumbled into specks of dust and we no longer know what we want to do. That little thing we hold dearly in our hand, clasped firmly in between our trembling fingers as we tried to move higher to the mountain. Yet we stumbled into a deep forest. Deep forest that does not only attack us with the mist of insecurity but strangely taken away whatever left in our hands too.

I want to live. 
I would like to figure things out, even if I had to start all over again though.

At one point, I think I know what I wanted to do with my degree. I think I finally figured what I wanted to do with my life. What road I am going to take in order to achieve that dream. But, I failed to recognize our road to success does not always appear in straight line. There are branches of road. There are going to take us into the forest, the sea, the city, the people. We stumbled. We might stop - only to take a breath hopefully. Something like the Tomakninah in prayers. But we are not going to stop for eternity, unless the Higher Power decided to take away our soul.

Up until last week, I think I know where I want to go. Crossing the goals I have made in early 2020. The archived one though - like doing internship, which I chose not to right before ending the sem prior to short semester (period for internship) for a peace of my mind end up become a triggering matter for me. Not that much till it literally trigger me, but it bugged me to some extend. I wish I do my internship, yet the leisure I am having to do something I like - attending webinars, watching dramas, studying on my own, reading a lot - stopped me from sighing for a decision I have made (which is, really, not that bad either).


I am here to say that - decrypting life seems to be a tough job, for everyone. Though they appear nonchalant about it. We will get there someday, somehow. Treasure our life. As to live and pursue journey appear to be a form of gift often to be taken for granted. Worrying about the future does not make us a loser (at all). Worry as much as we wanted to, it helps us relieving some unintended stress building from simply living our life (I mean, we get stress even when it comes to choosing what we should eat lol). However, we have to be aware that worrying only would not take us anywhere.

Do not stop for too long.
Move.

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6 comments

  1. great talk ^^ and thanks for the good advices :D

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  2. this is pretty much what i need.. thank you for sharing your thoughts in a very beautiful way.

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  3. sometimes i worry too much and missed a lot of things that i should've look at. i even forgot about all the blessing i was blessed with.

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    Replies
    1. I think most of us are like that :') We get easily swayed in the moment. I mean, we are human being — such defect is given by nature, dont you think? It makes us feel human. By realizing that small blessing that had been forgotten like the ease to breathe and having people around can easily be ignored.

      Anyhow, again — we are human :)

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