030: of variables


Input would produce output. Those output however would always be affected by variables. Be it, the circumstances, pressure, situation, might be the people itself. As a result, no matter how cliche its going to sound right now - it would affect us. 

To me, I had always be that person who feels comfortable in my own comfort zone. I had my line drawn to certain degree where its speak as the farthest I could go out of it. If situation does not require me to do so, I refuse to be out of my zone, even the latter one. And this past few days, the zone had been breached. By variables beyond my expectations T_______T which mean war.

Freaking war, yang sebolehnya aku tersangatlah malas nakterlibat. Simply, because I (admit) am lazy. I feels weird, let just do not talk about how many time I used to say that we need to be out of comfort zone to experience much bigger-exciting-ly adventures in the world. I'm spoiled brat.


Tiba-tiba teringat, an anime where the main character just love being the 'grey' in the black-white world ;'D My feelings. But, I would do it anyway because my comfort zone's line tu stretchable. Dan flexible. Barangkali. Hahaha. Messed-up sungguh.

Sorry, I need to console my heart by writing ._. 

"Kalau tak sampai bila-bila takde pengalaman." - Kak Farihah


My current favourites:

Songs (jam!)
  1.  방탄소년단 (BTS) WINGS Short Film #7 AWAKE
  2. BTS Jungkook - If You (King of Mask Singer)
  3. BOYS24 [Unit Red] - Starlight
*sebab sekarang tengah mood kpop lol*

  1. Moon Lover - Scarlet Heart Ryeo
  2. Moonlight Drawn By Clouds 
  3. Till I Met You (James Rheid x Nadine Lustre) ; its phillipines drama (100++ eps)
*click the link to the download page I usually use :D


029: finding me


A glimpse over the series of events I have experienced for the past few months, and now it is time to bid farewell. Those time when it doesn't look as promising as it is now. The time where I still confused, puzzled about the choices have been made. Finding my own identities. The crisis. The changes and so. The catastrophe.The sweet sorrow. The everything that happened, for reason of course.

Yet, for the past few months I have seen myself grow up. Exploring things outside my comfort zone. Write a lot. Shares a lot. Mingle with people rather than spending all my time alone (the wall still up, if you ask me lol) and bear with me no matter how grumpy I might be once in a while. Drag me outside. Wait for me. Trust me even though I refuse to acknowledge it at first. Helps me discover the losing me.

Yep, the losing me.
The fading me.

The future might seems blurry right now. We don't know either we would meet again but let just strive for the best. Que sera sera, whatever will be, will be - the future's not ours to see. Lol. 

Last but not least,

"Oleh tu, sahabat, bercita-citalah! Pancangkan cita-cita itu setinggi mungkin. Iringi dengan kesungguhan, perjuangan dan pengorbanan untuk mencapainya. Semoga Allah memperkenankan cita-cita itu." - Wak Duku, Rooftop Rants p352