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| Photo by Kristine Cinate |
Welp, it has been a while - and I have the audacity to come back lol. I was busy with school works that I barely got time to even breath lol. Anyhow, here I am after a few months - unofficially graduated from IIUM. Pretty anxious I would say because last semester really got me by the throat, especially one of the subjects.
Life has been crazy. Plans arranged; some doing pretty well, a lot got cancelled. But it is life, and to breathe and still feel alive despite the occasional 'emptiness' and hollows in between - it goes on :)
I have so many things I wanna do by the time I graduated. I wanna draw more. I wanna learn doing digital illustration. I even got myself a drawing tablet! Hehehe. I want to continue learning another language - perhaps Korean or Dutch/German. But I end up not feeling doing it anymore.
The audacity. I know~
It has been three weeks since I last submitted my final assessment. I spent the first few days resting. Hahaha. I sleep, I watch drama and movies, I read novels. By the fifth days, I'm already bored. I applied for a few jobs, got called for an interview and accepted on the same day because it is immediate hiring. Yet, I decided to reject the offer due to personal reasons (I talked about rejecting the offer with the interviewee as he proposed it to me first in case I am not satisfied with the workload actually) - not kidding, I would love to work there. I know I am going to have fun in that company doing things I love.
Adulting calls for hard decisions, apparently.
I actually send a message to my group of friends saying how exhausted I am living without not knowing what to do. It's like - after graduating, what's next? I don't know what to do - I mean, do we only have those two choices; studying or working? Before this, I can confidently answer - definitely not studying, for now. I need work cause I need money to pay my loan lol. I do not have the luxury to rest and earn no money tsk. But then, these days I keep feeling anxious over not having anything to do.
I had friends asking help for me to review their materials for a job interview - and despite having no problems helping them, it gets me anxious.
Of being jobless.
Of competition some more.
So, after thinking - I finally decided to do what I do best; focus on my own self-growth. LinkedIn is not good for my mental health, same goes to social media - I end up using my stan account on Twitter and studygram more because it helps me a lot. From stan account, I managed to make a number of friends with strangers that do not only share the same love towards music, but also emotional support and tips dealing with adulthood lol #UNIVERSE #ALICE #GOLDENNESS haha.
For now, I'm thinking of using my studygram for language studies and bujo-ing purpose. I will be here more frequent too cause I need to keep writing in case I forgot how exciting sharing my thoughts to people are! Let's pray for better content XD
And that's all for now.
Let's hope things will get better, for us!
