Assalammualaikum.

One thing that I rarely talk either in my blog or among my friend is my love life - because I basically do not have any. I am currently not engaged in any form of relationship bond nor contract lol. I have never been in a serious relationship nor engaging with guys. I literally do not talk to male homosapiens unless I have to. And without knowing, it invites trouble which I later have to deal with in order to move forward to the path of growing

In the spirit of wanting to shed off my previous shell, plus upon my friends' suggestions - I decided to expand my circle of friends. Hence, the reason why you would see I keep on joining programmes and getting involves in society. University is the place for us to build as many connections with people. Something you might think is unnecessary but nope.

Among the things I have learnt from getting involved with many people regardless of genders is that we would be able to understand the degree of feelings. Weird? I think, sometimes having a male friend that treats us super nicely would probably lead the female to think...differently? Special, I assume. Sometimes, the guy only did the bare minimum but we end up falling head over heels for them. Yes, speaking from experience I am. Lol. I have met people like this and I do sometimes experience this kind of 'fluttering feeling' when, really, they just did the basic thing human do like breathing.

I mean, I feel double dumb by exposing my dumb side. But who cares? Lol.

People need to know that I have this constant relentless worries too. 

Here comes a tea; I like this one guy for almost a year - though I pretty much swear that I really want to avoid anyone from this one particular course because of the constant fear I received by my people surrounding me. It just happened. The funny thing is that I just feel attracted to him and that's it. We do not even make any unnecessary approach - we do not talk, both of us, unless necessary.

I mean, a ball could have been kicked hard directly to me and instead of becoming the knight in shining armour, I am 99.9% sure he would avoid the ball.

Yet... one year. Phew.

Love can make us stupid and I have no arguments on that.

So, I decided to end my almost one year of an unrequited love story on 13 October 2019 by bidding goodbye. I am used to like people but somehow I feel super sad over this because we literally do not even start a thing other than a spark. 

It's normal for us to fell over a person, it is in our nature frankly speaking. We do not have to feel bad over the idea of falling in love because welp, we are just doing what a normal human being usually do. As long as the idea of love does not corrupt the way you are thinking and behaving; then, we are good to go. 

Go and spread love and positivity.

Gitu.

Falling in love is not my top priority, it's in the list but ya know. No one is worthy enough to be my top priority lol.

Did you see this coming?

I mean, me telling you this :')))