Assalammualaikum.

Well, it's been a while? Lol. 

A number of things have changed since the day I started my ertl (Emergency Remote Teaching & Learning) experience. I thought I can handle it - apparently, I have to admit defeat at certain days...or subject(s) even. Every single day is just a battle. Really, as much as I love doing online classes as it would allow people to be more open and brave in voicing out their opinions - the dimmer part of online learning cannot just be tossed aside.

Moving forward, it has been a week since my final assessment. I finished my exam on Monday and submitted my individual essay on Friday. It has been a week of lazing around, doing nothing other than watching drama on Viu and fangirling on Youtube :) I finished a crime-thriller drama, The Bridge Season 2, which is so good (and twisted) I admit! I have ditched Malay drama for so long, forgetting that some of them could provide such a rewarding experience.

I still read Malay novels, and I am not ashamed to admit this. I share similar sentiments with a few of my course-mate who reads Malay novel despite the tendency for people to insult Malay novel (without actually reading them). We just need to find the right book for us as reading is a continuous journey. 

I am still recovering from fever and flu - but life has been better. There is so much thing happening around the world at the moment. We probably feel a sense of urgency to know everything. The latest news about COViD-19, the Beirut explosion, UAE being the third Muslims country to have diplomatic ties with Israel, the current (chaotic) political scene in Malaysia or even the heated discussion about Muslims repressive so-called 'representation' on Netflix. (lol all these from Twitter)

But you know - it is okay to not know every single thing that is happening. It is good to know more about the world, yet - if it would create chaos inside us - it is better to just focus on ourself. Do things that would help ourself, the time would come where it would become beneficial to society. The time would come when we suddenly feel like reading about them, we know ourself better isn't? Loud and clear.

I intend to write more. You can expect a weekly update ehe because I miss writing so much! Besides, I have put aside a bunch of books I want to finish this semester break. I do not know if I can finish them, but I can try. At least. Tsk. I wanna learn how to do brush lettering too, that would require a lot of practises ehe.

Other than that, I hope all of you are doing good. 

See you in the next entry :)

Quartet oleh Saidatul Saffaa sebenarnya novel yang membuatkan aku menimbang sama ada should I or should I not read it sebab dari sinopsis yang aku baca – pendek kata, ada yang aku tak berkenan dari sekilas perenggan sinopsis itu. 

Tapi bila dah berkali-kali novel ni naik depan mata aku, I decide then – why not? Jadi aku baca sampai first part, which I found quite interesting frankly sebab aku rasa dia ada kaitan jugak dengan perspektif biasa kita sebagai perempuan. Lol. 

Atau aku…heh.

Lepastu aku gatal tangan baca last chapter and I was like…shoot! I hate this! Aku taksuka stail cerita end macam ni. Jadi aku stop dan letak novel ni ke tepi. Sebab aku takboleh brain kenapa? But I end up, picking it back after a day or two, and continue reading it sampai ke halaman terakhir sebab aku curious.

.

.

.

It is beautiful, somehow?

Kalau baca review dekat Goodreads pun sebenarnya banyak review yang bercampur, antara yang suka sangat dan tak suka. Lagipun, aku rasa ramai yang kecewa sebab letakkan penulis sama stail-nya dengan salah seorang penulis dari penerbitan yang sama just because she wrote about islamic-hijrah too. Aku rasa sangat harsh untuk cakap cerita ini hanya berkisar tentang Misa, watak utama, yang sibuk untuk mencari peneman hidup. Novel ni macam coming-of-age pun ada, progress buku dari halaman pertama hingga ke hujung buat pembaca sama-sama ‘membesar’ dengan Misa.

Sama-sama berbunga hati dengan Misa.

Sama-sama struggle dengan struggle Misa.

Sama-sama terkesan dengan apa yang Misa lalu.

Sama-sama jugak kita tengok dia bangun bila the same thing keep toppling her. People would think she is stupid for doing so, tapi kan – aren’t we all like that? Ada satu masa aku rasa karakter Misa tu sebenarnya macam satu sarcasm yang kita taknak terima sebab macam tak logik je tindakan dia tu.

Tapi, entahlah – it screams. Loud but I heard it in mumble because aku dengar dengan takpakai spect mata.

Lol.

Ada sesuatu dalam novel ni yang buat it lingers in mind. Aku taktau... sebenarnya, aku taknak describe. Selain itu, among things yang aku boleh pick up dari novel ni:

1. Kadar kelajuan perubahan seseorang itu taksama, you can’t expect people to have the same success rate just because you have it that way.

2. The fact that there are people around you, who cares for you, despite you not seeing them – is just a huge blessing in disguise.

Cold Coffee

Some people like their coffee ice-cold. with lots of ice that soon melt but remained it cooling sensation. Some prefer it to be hot - seeping hot, only to buzz the tongue and awaken our mind from short slumber. I personally don't mind either - but it perks me whenever I, myself, left my hot coffee unattended and it turns cold. 

There is something about it being left cold that I did not like but I drink it regardless.

Because it is mine. I am guilty of leaving it turns cold, there is just a nudge in me that say that I should not let it go to waste too. Plus, it is something that I personally make for me. Ironically, it is also me who left it, turning it into something that I found unpleasant but acceptable (could be by force at times) to my own throat.

The good, the bad

Life is a series of choice, no surprise. We open our eyes in the early morning (or noon.........or late afternoon lol), we soon confronted with choices - another 5 more minutes or just wake up and start our morning routine. Should we have coffee or tea (or milo)? Should we put one or two teaspoon of sugar? Should we wash our face before taking breakfast or not?

Again, choices. It extends from micro-things like these to extravagant things that could effect our life.

Should we live today, or should we just ... end things up?

Because everything is just a messed up choices - we never make a right one and we end up suffering. Life is a ball of  tangled strings that we know not how to unravel it - or we chose not to do. Because it is easier to remain (or pretend) to be numb than picking every single pieces of our limbs, shattered parts, tangling mess that do not recognize it truer shapes.

Hey, no one ask you to make it into its original shape!?
So what if it shattered, entwine to unrecognizable state - I mean, so what?

The Road Not Taken

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Jadinya, sejak mula PKP aku jumpa banyak benda yang aku boleh kembali tuai minatnya. Antaranya adalah baca novel melayu. I stumbled upon PNM e-reader an initiative by Perpustakaan Negara Malaysia where we can borrowed books virtually and read them via their application, legally for free.

Dan benda pertama yang aku cari daripada website dorang (https://pnm.elib.com.my/) adalah novel-novel keluaran Jemari Seni (sebab aku rindu T_T) Dan aku sangat happy bila tengok collection dorang yang okaylah... around 51 buah dari JS kot - tapi takde HLOVATE #disclaimer.

Why do I enjoy this book? 

Baju Melayu Hijau Serindit, aku tahu waktu browse website Jemari Seni dulu. Tapi, aku takrasa nakbeli waktu tu sebab bagi aku tajuk dia pelik dan sinopsis dia buat aku terus label 'cliche'. Only because dia centralize pasal 'jadi calon suami saya olok-olok' kind of story yang aku dah muak baca.

But, there are so much in this novel yang buat aku rasa sedikit bersalah lepas tu. Lol.

1) Gaya Penulisan

Aku mula kenal Syud dari Vignette (her latest novel published in 2016) - I fall in love hard dengan cara penulisan dia. Sempoi tapi teratur, ada pembayang disebalik straight-forwardnya. In a way, gaya penulisan dia lebih kurang dengan HLOVATE tapi lebih relax. Aku tak kenal sangat Syud sebab aku hanya baca buku HLOVATE je dari Jemari Seni. Lol, sekarang aku sedikit menyesal sebab tak kenal dia dari awal. At least aku boleh collect semua buku dia yang maha susah nakcari sekarang :')

What I have learnt from this novel?

1) Gaya pemikiran lelaki dan perempuan yang sebenarnya (takperlu diberitahu pun lol) sangat berbeza. 

From the whole novel, aku macam betul lah perempuan ni kekadang overthinking dia lain macam sikit - tapi kita buat benda tu out of cares, bukan saja-saja. Kalau lagi sayang, lagi teruk overthinking-nya. Ehe. I still find it funny how Wardah punyalah fikir bukan-bukan bila dia terserempak dengan Pacai yang muka habis heartbroken tapi turns out dia cuma is 'having a bad day' (nak tahu kena baca). Lol.

2) Komunikasi tu penting.

Apa-apa masalah atau benda yang kita taktau pucuk pangkal dia, kita kena tanya. Letak belakang kebarangkalian 'macam mana kalau dia tipu?' sebab ini hubungan dengan manusia. Hubungan antara manusia dengan manusia tak boleh operates dengan jayanya hanya dengan 'andaian'. Dengan sesiapa pun.

Who am I suggesting this for?

... yang suka bahan bacaan santai dan funny in contemporary way? Ehe.

... yang suka sedas dua tembakan emosi.

... yang suka HLOVATE.