078: I Hear Your Voice

By faten.banana - October 31, 2020

Photo by pure julia on Unsplash
How often do we actually listen to ourself, I wonder?
Do we?
Especially when it comes to a desperate red alert?

"Chill, you are going to be in trouble."
"Take a deep breath, you got this."
"Just sleep. Go to sleep."

I have been getting myself into the same circle that got in me trouble for the first two weeks of the semester. Of course, I think it is important to get your mental health in check. But it is easier to say this to someone rather than to my ownself. The irony. I can feel like I am getting into that slump again. I feel like I am getting that unnecessary stress again. The negative stress.

I keep having migraine. Acnes, more and more pop-up. Craving for sweet things. Feeling anxious over all the works I have to get done. I get easily pissed-off. I laugh but I don't feel like I am genuinely happy? 

My roomate was like - "Fatin awal-awal dahbanyak assignment." because she has been seeing me sitting on my work desk all day. And that makes me think a lot. Like, am I pushing myself (too hard) again? After I look at all the dues I have (which is like in December mostly), I sighed. I always have trouble with wanting to be ahead everything, to feel in control over my works that it exceed my mental capacity to handle things.

We do that sometimes you know.

So, for the past few days. I have been chilling a little bit. I go for a walk around my uni with le friends (Yas, together we stuck in the uni XD) I just realized how walking even around my mahallah, makes me feel at ease. I bought few things to treat myself :') I rarely rewards myself (so uhm I actually bought an album because I deserved having PENTAGON's WE:TH Album lol) I eat things I want but keeping it on ratio because I wanted to lose some more weights (too many weddings next year >,<) Ah, I already at that age where I have to attend weddings of my closest pals.


At the end of the day, always listen to yourself. Work hard but never be too hard on ourself :) 
Listen.

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