065: uncalled yet inevitable

By faten.banana - June 01, 2019

You see, among my family members - I would be the less likely one to fall sick. I used to believe that is due to better fighting mechanism residing in my body compared to my younger siblings. But when I get sick, I get really sick to the point that I could not even wake up and I had rather sleep all day long. It does happen once or twice in a year but that's not the point. I just rarely get caught with any diseases, especially during my study period. I would get sick at home, most of the time. Demam gedik we called it.

I guess, this semester I wear-off my luck in the health department. For someone who does not really fond of having multiple trips to the clinic, it gets to the point that I am the one volunteering to get myself treated. That, my girls, literally explained the power of pain! I am not scared of getting treatment, I just hate the hustle of having to wait. Or maybe, I just hate the idea of visiting the health institution in the first place. #NoOffenseHealthcareProviders.

I was referred to Orthopedics Specialist in HKL. Got to attend for a few physiotherapy sessions at the same hospital, specifically for ROM Strengthening because the specialist could not confirm either I hurt my muscle (which is not likely due to the position I keep getting pain), bones or the nerves. I was hoping, it just only the muscle because of the idea of getting hurt on the nerves scares the hell out of me.

It's the freaking nerves after all.

After my first physiotherapy session, the doctor delivered the news that I probably have injured my nerves. I can feel all the blood drain from my face instantly. I was shocked, of course. I can't help but keep thinking what am I gonna do with my life? Never that I thought I would be tested this way. But the doctor calmed me down, she said it was quite common among people who do sport to get their nerves injured.

It was crazy; One day you feel all good, and the next day - bam, things happened!

I had to take almost 3 months off from any physical activities, as advised by the specialist. And this time, I really did. I do not even partake in my Practical Exam for Silat that carries 20 marks. It was replaced with another written assignment under the courtesy of my Tenaga Pengajar. I cannot even walk as fast I usually am (freaking fast; I hate walking like taking a stroll unless I am with people) because it could trigger the pain.

After one whole semester filled with routine visits to HKL for almost every week, on 15 May, I was declared 'clean' lol. Blood test and multiple x-rays are taken from my leg up to my hip bones show no apparent 'warning'. Plus, the pain did not come attacking any more.

Yet, honestly speaking - I haven't got myself to do any form of exercises so I am not really sure either the pain had really gone for good or not. Regardless, let's pray that I would not have to visit the hospital again. (Yes, no matter how handsome and good looking the healthcare providers are! I am willing to let that go!)

Getting sick cost me not only time, as I have to skip a few class due to the clashes in the appointment for instance, but also money. Even though it is not that much, as the government incentives in providing healthcare had made it more accessible to people, still I have to keluarkan duit for transportations. At one point I get really stress and frustrated with my conditions.

I was stress, yes.
I even bawled my eyes out as I was waiting for the bus before the 40 minutes ride to HKL. A close friend offered to accompany me, but I rejected her offer because I do not feel comfortable in troubling people.
I was tired of having to visit the hospital routinely.
I don't even know how people manage to sail in a boat with this kind of conditions, alone.

If we never been terribly sick, Alhamdulillah. May Allah retains our health that way.

Among, the abundance of lessons I managed to reflect and learn from, one that strikes me really hard is how during my prayers I had never addressed to Allah SWT to make me healthy. It was weird how I always wanted Allah SWT to bestow both my parents and family members with good health as I want to live longer with them. Ironically, assuming that I would remain fit and healthy. Hence, forgetting that I had to make duas for my own health too.

I might have forgotten that along with the other things I asked for from Allah; knowledge, rezqi, good spouse (yessa!) and children that will grow as our qurratu a'yun, for Allah to increase my iman - asking for a healthy body and mind are important too. I was devastated when I first experienced the terrible pain as I never get badly sick. I was cocky at one point I guess that Allah probably decided to put me into a test.

There is always a lesson ought to be learnt regardless of how difficult a situation is. As for me, I learnt mine. I am no saint, people are bound to make mistakes. We are human after all. But, let's not make it into something that we deem as trouble. Rather, make use of it so that we can improve ourselves to be the best version of Muslims created by Allah.

Ramadhan Kareem!

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  1. I'm glad that you're okay now. Sometimes being sick remind us how good and a blessing it is to be healthy.

    1. Hehehe, yes. To be healthy is such a big nikmat actually that people tend to forgot because we have always been accustomed with. Once taken away, phew.