 |
| Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Centre @ KLPAC |
I have been living under a rock for a few weeks. Detached and forced – by whom, ugh... myself. Desperately trying to catch up with everything that goes around me. I was devastated, yes. I was defeated, somehow, yes. I realized there are things that goes beyond your expectation even though you tried very hard until you bleed.
Everything is Allah’s plan, I understand.
Allah is the best planner, I do understand that too.
It just that, coping to a situation which you personally do not favored because of exterior factor such as settings and atmosphere – it kills. And after a period of time, I started to question the purpose of all the things I have done.
Why did I do it in the first place?
What is the purpose?
This did not make me happy – again, why?
And etcetera (because I’m good at being rhetorical – especially to myself) I mean, we tend to be extra strict to ourself compared to other people. Probably because we have that sense of ‘dude, you need to be good at this and this and this.’ I told the dearest friend of mine how I am so busy to the extend of me not getting any ‘me-time’ because I would not allow myself to do so. Ya know, perasaan yang bila kau duduk saja-saja tapi rasa bersalah sebab masa tu boleh terisi dengan sesuatu yang lebih berfaedah? Lol. I am such a drama, I know.
And my friend responded by, “Apa yang kau buat sampai orang lain ada masa untuk tengok drama apa semua dan kau tak?”
At that particular moment, I realized how I have been really harsh to myself. I have been working a lot and I did not let myself to have a rest because of things that I want to accomplish recquires me to work harder than I usually do. And bam! I’m burned.
Trust me, I have been there. Lol.
This is something I received in 2015 (farewell gift from Public Speaking Class) and every time I feel tired or I am fighting with my own stress - I would read this all over again just to gain strength.
10 comments
I stopped being too harsh on myself few years ago cause I know I can't cope with the disappointment that might come with the failure of not achieving my goals.
ReplyDeleteWhat I usually do is I try as best as I could but at the same time, I allocate space and time for what makes me happy. That, and I also spare a tiny space for possible disappointment. lol
Be happy, Fatin :)
That's true, we need to do something that could makes us happy XD Thank you, I will!
DeleteThe stressful me would produce the melancholic me but hanging around with my friends and Korean drama would always calm me down whenever I'm in the inner stress... It's unhealthy to stress out so calm down, and just be happy.. :)
ReplyDeleteKorean drama is no longer capable to eat my stress out sobs. I will constantly feeling anxious unless I finished the jobs duh I probably need to find another way for me to let out the stress T_T
DeleteThank you, I will at least try!
I'll eat out or just listen to sad music in bed lol
ReplyDeleteBut I remember the words my friend used to say to cheer me up. 'All of these will pass.'
Yep, all of these will pass! Allah had planned it all for us XD
DeleteI'll just enclosed my mind with all the negative things and go to sleep. :D
ReplyDeleteBut of course as a muslim we'll naturally trying to smoothen ourselves. :) Its hard, everything in this world its hard, but it doesnt meant we have to give it up.
We just need to work harder because everyone is fighting their own struggle sobs /facing reality/
DeleteTake a break, it's really important in order to reduce the stress tbh. Don't overwork yourself, not good for both mental and physical. Dedua penat.
ReplyDeleteI need to find a way to escapism - be a better planner for my own good. Thanks Zahi!
Delete