Friends had always mentioned this to me - they wish no one would ever have to experience it, especially me. I could never understand the gravity of heartbreak before, because moving on after a failed crush-ship has always been an easy task for me.
I guess because I never had a proper love relationship. I never totally like a person until my heart is full with his name, and only him. Not until this year -- but let's just say, after 6 months, I finally found out that it will never work out.
He is not married, but he has someone already.
How did I find out? I asked a friend I really trust to find it out for me before I went back to Kelantan. It was my first time asking a male friend to do such a thing; heck literally confessing to a guy that I have feelings for this man. He was reluctant at first, but I managed to persuade him somehow. I am so determined that once I go back to KL, I already know what I should do with my feelings.
I remember waking up one morning in Kelantan, and a text from that person came in:
Salam Fatin.
Aku dah tanya pagi tadi.
Dia dah taken.
Voila.
Throughout these 5 weeks of me trying to mend myself from this heartbroken phase, this week seems to be the hardest. I did not shed any tears at all ever since the day I found out about his status. I only feel stupid that I had never really asked around about it earlier.
Anything could have happened in the span of 6 months - there could have been sparks between us, but he could have gotten together with his past lover :') I guess, if you like someone - just go for it before it became too late.
I wrote a lot actually, yet I end up deleting everything cause it feels too personal.
Doakan Fatin baik-baik aja okay?
