Everything moves quickly nowadays. It’s like once you register yourself up into the adulthood period, things move faster than it initially was. Pre-twenty is like jazz you can dance and swing around – once you enter the transition wow au revoir life, I’m gonna speed likes there is no end.

Clearly a hyperbole, guys.

[side note: I’m getting anxious – cannot stop tapping my leg, probably due to coffee]

I have not updated this safe-haven for almost a month. Earlier this year (yep, way earlier than March), I promised to myself that I am going to write an entry at least once per fortnight – I failed apparently. Around this period of my absentees from the blogging world, marked by un-updated entry, a lot of things happened that I wish I could blog all of them, but I would not.

I could not, to be precise. #CueGoodbyeRoad (because I feel like to)

Hitting 22 approximately two weeks ago left me in another pool of existential realms. Within these two weeks, there are too many ‘surprise’ that I received – starting with having to meet orthopedics specialist due to my recurrent leg pains (+ It all started with injuries during my silat practice almost a year ago), getting slapped with the idea that maybe the person I have been meeting for almost half of my life is not the same person they might be behind me – cause everyone has their own skeleton in the closet. 

More than anything, I actually half-blaming myself for not being trustworthy enough for them to rely on me. It was a weird compilation of feelings, grouped together only to produce a very gloomy façade to my soul. Thank goodness the pain in the leg, as well as fever that followed few days later (yeah, second trips to the clinic), helped me to literally get a rest from everything. I think I really need a rest after all – I even declared my own mc too because I don’t feel like wasting my time going to class that I can barely focus. 

I get over it – and am try seeking for a better version of me. 

That’s how it is supposed to be. Plus, we need to accept that there are things that are beyond our control because Allah is the Almighty. He is the one who controls everything in the sky and the earth.

Our job? 

Keep working.

Uh, one more thing – aside from forcing myself to update my blog at least once per two weeks, I want to challenge myself out from my comfort zone. I hate troubling myself with problems that I know I can just bail myself out. I applied for two things this semester – both requires me attending interviewing session (screams: I get anxious over the idea of getting me emotionally stripped) For god sake, I keep thinking that I should just draw myself out from both of them because I’m just so scared.

But I did not.

Hereby, I declare one of my legs is already on the train that for sure in the fast lane. 

I pray that Allah will ease everything for us – me and the readers.

        

— Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own